Has this ever happened to you?
Me: 30 something year old nurse that enjoys the arts and traveling. Recently separated trying to learn to enjoy being single. Been in a relationship since the age of 15. Want to stand on my own 2 and try this independent thing. Never been a blind date and not looking forward to one.
My Girlfriend: Girl he’s single with a great job, a successful business, and no kids. The good ones don’t stay single for too long. He says he wants to settle down. Just go on one date. Do this favor for me. My husband told him about you and he really wants to meet you.
He: 30 something year old successful businessman with an Ivy League education, tall, handsome, no children, new home owner with a slight edge. Not sure if it’s arrogance or swagger. Time will tell. He is very open about his background and his opinions on love, relationships, family, and work. I can tell by his body language that he doesn’t feel my questions are too inquisitive.
Setting: Quiet corner table in a 5 star restaurant, somewhere around the 3rd course.
He: Enough about me. Tell me something about you.
Me: (always elusive) What do you want to know? What don’t you already know?
He: Let’s see you’re beautiful, have an art degree, a nurse, the middle child of 3 sisters, love to travel, and you’re going through a divorce with a man that just doesn’t want to let go and I don’t blame him. If I had you I would fight to keep you too.
Setting: His Mercedes in front of my building at the end of a perfect date.
Me: Thank you I had a great time. (I don’t kiss on first dates)
He: I’m happy you enjoyed yourself tonight. Maybe we can do this again soon.
Me: (smiling) Sure, I would like that. (reaching to open the door)
He: (grabbing my wrist) Wait there’s something I need to tell you.
Me: (a little uneasy with the grabbing, gently pulling away) Go ‘head.
He: You are very beautiful and very lucky. I’m a good catch you know.
Me: (frowning and not sure where this is going) OK.
He: I have herpes.
Me: (mouth open and looking as if I’ve just had ice water thrown in my face) What?
He: I have herpes, but you’re a nurse. You’re use to this sort of thing. Right?
Me: (confused) Use to treating herpes? Educating patients about herpes? Or dating men with the virus?
He: (surprisingly annoyed and I realize the swagger was indeed arrogance) You know how to deal with this. How to protect yourself. You know how to be in a sexual relationship with a man and be safe. You understand it. You won’t judge.
Me: (confusing becoming empathy as I speak in my gentle nurse voice): No I don’t judge and you don’t have to be a nurse to learn how to protect yourself from herpes. There is lots of information available for herpes sufferers and their partners –
He: (cutting me off with an icy stare) Don’t patronize me. You know I usually don’t date sisters. I-
Me: (absent of empathetic gentle voice) Was this before or after you contracted herpes? Your problem isn’t that you have herpes. Your problem is you’re a jackass.
With that I exited the car and shut the door. No more blind dates for me.